The True Purpose of a Relationship

Why do we seek relationships? Beyond biological drives or emotional fulfillment, Carl Jung proposed a deeper answer: relationships are the mirrors that reveal our unconscious self.

Relationships as Mirrors

Imagine standing before a mirror. You see your face clearly, but if there’s a smudge on your cheek, the mirror reveals it even if you couldn’t feel it. Similarly, relationships reflect back to us hidden aspects of ourselves – especially parts we deny, avoid, or project onto others.

Jung described this as the Shadow at work. The traits we cannot accept in ourselves are often what we criticise or idealise in partners. Through these reflections, relationships become powerful tools for self-awareness.

The True Purpose: Individuation

For Jung, the ultimate purpose of a relationship was **individuation** – the process of becoming your most whole, authentic self. A conscious relationship doesn’t complete you, but instead supports your journey to integrate all parts of your psyche.

Think of a relationship like a dance studio with mirrors on all sides. Every move you make is reflected back, helping you refine your form, posture, and balance. Similarly, your partner's reactions and your emotional triggers reveal where you still need healing, growth, or integration.

When Relationships Become Projection

Often, instead of relating to the person in front of us, we relate to an image – the **anima** or **animus** projection of our unconscious ideal feminine or masculine. This can lead to infatuation, illusions, and disappointment when reality breaks the fantasy.

Jung urged us to withdraw these projections and see the partner as they truly are. Only then can love mature into a conscious, supportive bond rather than an unconscious search for a missing part of ourselves.

Final Thoughts

The true purpose of a relationship is not just happiness, security, or procreation, but the **mirror of individuation**. It challenges you to integrate your Shadow, withdraw projections, and walk the path of self-realisation with greater awareness.